"Real People"

When we were undergrads in college, my friends and I would talk about when we would become real people. In general, real people were those who were done with school, had full time jobs and real responsibilities. Some of use to dread becoming real people, and leaving the luxury of college life behind.

Fast forward to now, and many of my friends could be considered real people. All of them have graduated, many moving on to full time jobs and the beginnings of their careers. Thinking about my friends and the changes in their lives leads to me to the question... Am I a real person? I mean obviously, I am married and in a few days when I get my new phone, fully financially independent from my parents. We live in our own apartment, pay our own bills, do our own grocery shopping and wash our own clothes. But I still don't quite feel like a real person. So what it all comes down to is the career, and feeling like I am contributing positively to the rest of the world. And I will admit, the job I have now isn't quite as satisfying/rewarding as I hope my future career will be. Sure, its easy money and I like the people I work with. But its easy to feel useless, especially knowing you aren't maximizing your potential. Before this job, I was a research assistant at my University. In the lab, I felt important. I contributed to something that would build on the scientific knowledge of mankind. People cared about my thoughts and ideas and looked to me for solutions. And now, my current boss leaves me sticky notes asking me to retype a form or reminding to keep up with my filing (something I don't need to be reminded about). I know some of you can share in this frustration. But what I always tell myself is that this is only temporary. And soon enough, I will be doing something better.

Its not easy being in school when everyone else seems to be past that point in their lives. My schedule is crazy, meaning that vacations and family visits are planned around tests and papers rather than holidays and special occasions. It means weekends are filled with paper writing and online classes than fun with friends and free time. This past weekend, we went to visit Omid's family in San Diego. The trip was amazing, but we could only stay for two full days because my schedule doesn't allow for more than that. You can't miss a class that is once a week. Its hard when people ask when we can come again and tell us they wish we could stay for longer. And in my head, I know that we can't come back until August (before school starts of course) and that we will probably only stay a couple of days again. 

But higher education is a choice I have made, and worth the temporary sacrifices. In less than a week, I am turning 23 years old. Omid always reminds me that we are young and ahead of the game. These are comforting thoughts. I am lucky enough to have a husband that completely supports me in whatever decisions I make. Whether its to quit my job and take more classes, write a thesis, or eventually get my PhD one day, I know that Omid is right behind me cheering me on: "Don't worry about it babe. We can do it." 

I find that a lot of people my age are feeling very in-between right now. And you know what, that's okay. Most of us are. Don't worry, we have plenty of time to become real people.